The power of positive self-perception
We all receive unsolicited comments; whether on our appearance, career, parenting skills or overall life choices.
I've been getting it lately when asked when David and I are planning to get married and I tell them this fall. Everyone seems surprised and respond with “wow, already?!” Yes... we’ve been together for 9 years, 10 this October and have lived together for the past 3... how long do you suggest we wait?
The same thing seems to happen to newlyweds when people eagerly question when children will follow. Once the time comes I’ve often heard people say, “that was fast, didn’t they just get married?” It’s not exactly the response anyone is looking for.
Self-perception is something that can be greatly influenced by others' opinions as well. Aside from what others say, are YOU happy with yourself and the choices that you make? While physical characteristics, like your height, you can't change, there are many things you can, if desired.
Until recently, I'd always been self-conscious about my appearance and personality. Whenever I told my family I wanted to lose weight, they asked where it would come off. Well, I've managed to lose 25 pounds so it was there somewhere, fam. Considering the majority of the U.S. is overweight, it's safe to say most people can bear to lose a few pounds tbh. While I've never had anyone call me fat, I've now had people say I've lost too much weight. Thank you for the concern, ma'am, but I happen to disagree. I worked hard to get where I’m at and happen to be happy and healthy.
I used to have a “friend” who thought it was okay to tease me about having a small chest. I didn’t think it could get any smaller but guess what? After losing weight, it got smaller! Fortunately, the rest of my body shrunk as well. I now feel proportionate so what was once a major concern of mine is now minor. My body changed as a result of changing my eating habits, which in turn changed my perception of myself and gave me the confidence that had forever been lacking. It turns out, the things I thought I had no control over, I was able to change the whole time.
We've all heard it many times; life is too short to surround yourself with negative people. Keep in touch with those who share similar goals and outlooks on life rather than those lacking the ability to help you grow. The journey to self-improvement is about just that, yourself. It shouldn’t be done to satisfy others. With that said, it does help to have a good support system, unfortunately, not everyone does, making the process much more difficult. Maybe your goal is weight loss and your partner has a habit of being lazy and eating junk food. Whatever your goal, keep the end result in mind and push through, with or without support of others. In the end, your achievements will be worth the effort.
My outlook on myself and on life has changed dramatically since caring less about what others say and more about what makes me happy. We should all work constantly to better ourselves, for ourselves. Improvements lead to growth, whereas, being content lacks ambition and leaves no goal to work towards.
Do it for yourself. Not others.
-Mallory
