Self-Improvement Strategies
Happy Mother's Day to all you hard-working moms (and single dads) out there!
Although I'm an aunt (Chloe, pictured above) and not a mother, it's safe to say that part of what makes a good parent is teaching life's fundamental lessons. Why not get back to the basics and treat ourselves as we do children. Maybe we could learn something from them, after all, they're typically happy and care-free.
The Basics:
Be Generous: Be kind, share and offer to help others. I have three sisters so, growing up, we often shared clothes. If we asked before borrowing this was okay, if we didn't... all hell broke loose. From both sides, make no assumptions, it's better to be safe than sorry.
Brush it Off: Growing up, my dad went with the tough-love approach. Unless something was broken, he'd say to suck it up. I still remember him teaching me to drive stick shift... against my will. We ended up at a stop sign on a back road hill. Another car pulled up behind us and I started crying because I was afraid of stalling out and hitting them. Everything turned out alright, we're still alive and I'm proud to say I learned how to drive a manual transmission. You'll only fail if you give up completely. I actually enjoyed it so much that I bought one for myself (with the money I worked and saved for). Bonus: few people know how to drive stick shift so I never had to let anyone borrow my car.
Quiet Time: Whether it be reading, meditation or listening to calming music, set aside time each day to gather your thoughts and focus on yourself. If having a bad day, sometimes taking a mental time-out is the best thing to do. I like to read during my commute on the train to and from work. I know some of my co-workers with children use that precious time to catch a little more sleep. Time is an indispensable resource so don't waste it.
Save Money: These days it's easy to swipe your credit card without realizing how much you're spending. Living paycheck to paycheck is no way of life. Pay off your expenses each month, set aside some for enjoyment and save the rest in your piggy bank. Before making poor purchasing decisions, ask yourself, Do you really need that? Remember the feeling of finally saving enough money for the car you wanted and being proud to have earned it?
Say "No": Kids are great at saying no. Let's be a little more like them and start saying "no, (thank you)" more often. Along with saying no to unnecessary purchases, it's also okay to pass up indulgences when co-workers bring them into the office or drinks when the bartender asks if you want another round. Otherwise, allow yourself a taste but don't feel obligated to finish everything on your plate. There's often leftover bagels after business meetings at my office. I eat breakfast before I leave for work so there's no need for me to eat again just because it's offered, however, I will save fruit for an afternoon snack. The same rules apply for the impulse items at the cash register. Why? Because I said so! Food for thought: Following the majority will leave you looking and feeling like the majority.
Eating Well: We all remember not being able to leave the dinner table without finishing our vegetables. Veggies are arguably the most important food for our health so do your best to eat a serving with every meal. Keep in mind, you don't have to be an Iron Chef in the kitchen but you should be eating home-cooked meals more often than not. I'm lucky my mother is such a great cook. Or maybe she was forced into it; can you imagine the bill of taking the eight of us out to eat? Practice makes perfect. Save the take-out for rare occasions. Do note that home-cooked doesn't automatically mean it's more healthy. These days, my mother and I share recipes and offer suggestions for making them healthier.
Physical Activity: We all know kids are full of energy. Most love running around the playground or playing some type of sport. My parents were great about getting my siblings and I to try new things whether or not we wanted to. I tried basketball but hated all the physical contact. Instead, I discovered a love for volleyball, softball and golf at various ages. Fun fact: My high school didn't have a women's golf team so my dad talked them into starting one for me junior year. I had never played but he bought me a set of clubs and the school hired a great coach. I was so bad when I started that I won most improved player both years! Knowing how to play golf is actually a useful skill in networking as I once had to play when traveling for a trade show. As adults, we must make the conscious effort to move our bodies. According to the World Health Organization, adults ages 18+ should aim for a minimum of 2.5 hours of moderate-intensity or 75 minutes of high-intensity physical activity each week. Whether or not you have a gym membership, try new physical activities until you find something of enjoyment. It doesn't matter what you do, but get your heart rate up!
Set Limits: Believe it or not, having cable television is a luxury. Not everyone can afford to, or wants, to pay for cable. We had "basic cable" growing up. A fancy name for access to the news and maybe one cartoon channel. Looking back now, what's more fun and entertaining than playing with your five siblings and living down the street from a public park?! Thank you Mom and Dad! TV is great but don't waste your life away sitting on the couch watching the lives of others. Get out, socialize and discover the world around you.
Education: It's easy to take education for granted. I never liked being told what to read or study but now that I have a choice I'm much more enthused about it. Fun fact: I'm currently taking an online course to become a certified nutritionist. More on that later :) It's never too late to learn a new subject or language. Hire a tutor, download an app, or pick up a book and start now. We're incredibly lucky that others' are willing to learn English in order to communicate with us. It's considerate to learn at least some basic phrases if traveling or doing business with non-native English speakers. Before traveling to Portugal, I used a free app to learn basic Portuguese phrases. Having taken Spanish back in the day, I found them fairly similar. It turned out that most Portuguese are taught English in school so although not necessary, it did come in handy on a few encounters.
Music, Arts & Crafts: Make time for your hobbies, whether it be writing, drawing, pottery making or design of some kind. Unfortunately I'm not musically inclined, but for those of you who are, dedicate time to hone your talents. You may even be able to find a way to monetize your skills. Who knows where it could lead? This blog is my craft. I really enjoy sharing information and tips and hope to help others along the way. At the end of the day, hobbies are there for enjoyment.
Play-Dates: Make time for friends and family that you don't see everyday to keep those relationships strong. Coordinate brunch, host game-night or meet for happy-hour and try to schedule far in advance to have something to look forward to. I used to be a major homebody but these days I love getting out and socializing. Going out to eat can really add up though, and as I said, I'm big on saving money. As an alternative, I'll sometimes invite my girlfriends to my apartment for wine and cheese.
Chores: No one enjoys cleaning the bathroom, putting clothes away or doing the dishes but they have to be done. It's hard to relax at home when there's clutter around. Keeping a clean, organized space allows for peace of mind. I actually like doing laundry and vacuuming. Unfortunately, these are two things I currently can't do since I don't have carpet or a washer/dryer in my apartment. Wah.
Bedtime: Getting enough sleep each night is crucial for good health. Sleep deprivation can cause weight gain, mood swings, weakened immune systems, low sex drive, etc. Aim for 7-9 hours of quality sleep per night. For more tips on getting better sleep, read my post Sleep Aids.
These are all fundamentals taught to us by our parents and that you may be teaching your children now. There's nothing new here, sometimes it's just nice to get another perspective on things.
- Mallory
Sources:
Physical Activity. World Health Organization, 23 Feb. 2018, www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/physical-activity.
